Today I decided to post a few pictures from my "baby" brother's high school graduation. It's easiest for me to blog about events/sessions/etc where alot of emotion is involved, and let me tell you, this event is perfect for that!
To give you a little background of my family, I am the middle (and of course the coolest) child. My older brother is just a few years older than I. My "baby" brother, is a whopping 9 years younger. I'm very close to both brothers, but there was something SO different about having a sibling that was 9 years younger. Most siblings grow up together, often spending time with each others' friends, at each others' events, etc. Being 9 years older, meant that instead of growing up WITH him, I watched HIM grow up through a 9 year window of time.
Now for any of you that was a 9 year old girl once, or maybe had a 9 year old girl, can probably imagine my excitement of having a baby in the house. Instead of lugging around plastic dolls, I got the luxury of having an ACTUAL baby to help take care of. And when I became that "know it all teenager", he became a "know it all preschooler". And when he became the "know it all teenager", I was in that transition stage between being young and growing up. But through all these major differences, I still had the urgency to move heaven and earth for him. He has always been the best "little buddy" a sister could ask for.
To help prepare for the graduation festivities, I took an extra day off and went back to help my parents get everything ready. One of my "jobs" was to put together a short slideshow to play for people that came to congratulate the graduate. It was at this time that this all really started to sink in. Looking through stacks of pictures of that little guy with the q-tip head (that's how we have always best described his haircut) really made it all so bittersweet. I guess I thought he'd be the same forever. I felt like I watched him grow up all over again.
Now this may sound odd, but while I drove to the school for the ceremony, I felt like I was going to a funeral. It was that feeling where the closer you got, the more real it became...like just maybe, if you turn your car around and go home, you could buy some time. Of course I was happy for him. Of course I was proud. I'm excited for him to start a new chapter in his life. But as much as this chapter was closing for him, it was closing for me...for my parents, for my older brother. We had no more football games or track meets, no more proms, no more sure ties to a place that we had all been a part of for the past 4 years. The last of our generation was leaving the nest. We were all growing up.
If you haven't already gathered this from my posts, I have a hard time with change. I don't resist it, but I do mourn the moments that have passed. Of course life always brings us new excitement, new happiness...but with time, some people change, some people pass, and there are things that happen that are SO wonderful that may never happen again. Sometimes I feel so content with now that I want to freeze it. Maybe that's why I love photos. Photos mark a moment that was exciting enough to capture....you will never be as young as you were the moment that shutter closed. Photos hold memories of those that may not be there the next time you need your camera.
Well the show went on. I watched them all walk proudly down the aisle, accept their diplomas, and move into the next chapter without completely having a meltdown. And now looking back at the pictures, I'm glad so many of my family is still around to enjoy these moments...and it's times like these that make me realize that it's better to just be content with now, instead of mourning yesterday or fearing tomorrow. Congrats Cross County class of 2012. I've watched many of you grow up for the past 18 years and I wish you all the very best in your moments to come.
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